Men & CMN: The Way We Carry It- Nevus Owner, Khalid Bethea's Story

For as long as he can remember, Khalid Bethea has lived with Congenital Melanocytic Nevi (CMN). Born with CMN covering much of his body, his journey has been shaped by surgeries, insecurity, resilience, and ultimately, self-acceptance.

Growing up with a visible condition was not easy. As an infant, Khalid underwent surgeries to remove one of his larger birthmarks because doctors feared it could become cancerous. But for him, some of the deepest scars were emotional rather than physical.

“As a child it was tough on me mentally & physically.”

He remembers constantly wondering what others thought when they looked at him. Sometimes, those fears were reinforced in painful ways.

“Having people purposely not touch you can definitely have an effect on you as a child who is very insecure about the way you look.”

Carrying Insecurity into Adulthood

Even as he got older, those insecurities did not simply disappear. Khalid shared that one of the hardest parts of living with CMN has been learning how to feel comfortable in everyday spaces.

“I always think someone is staring or judging & I want to just crawl in a hole & hide every single time.”

For many people with visible differences, that feeling can become exhausting... constantly entering rooms already aware of how different you may appear from everyone else around you.

Khalid says he still feels different today, especially now that he also lives with vitiligo alongside CMN. But over time, his perspective has slowly changed.

“I understand not many people look like me… but I can't & don’t want to change it so I navigate it by living life normally knowing I’m ultimately a good person.”

Finding Confidence Through Connection

While insecurity shaped much of his childhood, Khalid says family and friends played a huge role in helping him build confidence over the years.

They reminded him that he was often harder on himself than anyone else was. They kept him laughing on difficult days and encouraged him to keep showing up as himself.

Modeling also became an unexpected turning point in his journey. Opportunities to be seen, photographed, and embraced helped him slowly realize that his appearance did not diminish his value.

“The opportunities that I have had & the people who I have met have been a blessing.”

Over time, confidence stopped meaning “feeling perfect” and started meaning accepting himself exactly as he was.

Redefining Strength

For Khalid, strength no longer means hiding vulnerability or pretending difficult moments do not exist.

Instead, he defines strength in a much quieter and more honest way.

“To me strength is waking up every day and living your life genuinely.”

That mindset has become central to how he navigates CMN today. Rather than allowing his appearance to define him, he focuses on the kind of person he wants to be.

He believes real strength comes from being open-minded, stepping outside your comfort zone, and allowing people to see who you truly are beneath the surface.

The Importance of Visibility and Vulnerability

As a man living with CMN, Khalid also believes conversations around emotional health and vulnerability matter deeply.

Too often, men are expected to carry insecurity silently. But Khalid believes sharing experiences openly can help others feel less alone.

“Everyone needs to help shape these conversations because you never know who will relate to your story or mindset.”

Today, he openly explains CMN to others when people ask questions. He wants people to understand that CMN is not contagious and not something to fear. More importantly, he wants others living with visible differences to know they deserve to take up space fully and confidently.

Learning to Love Yourself Fully

Looking back, Khalid wishes he could tell his younger self something simple but powerful:

“You’re beautiful inside & out, believe it with every fiber of your being!”

That message now extends beyond himself and toward others beginning their own journey with CMN.

He encourages people not to become trapped by fear of judgment or by the insecurities that visible differences can create. Instead, he hopes others learn to embrace who they are fully- not someday, but now.

Because in Khalid’s experience, healing does not come from changing how you look.

It comes from learning that your worth was never dependent on your skin in the first place.