More Than Skin Deep: The Story Behind My Strength
- Kimi Phelps
- 4 days ago
- 3 min read
Hi, I'm Ariella. One of my earliest memories is being at our town pool when I was just four years old. I can still picture two older kids standing in front of me, blocking my path into the water and saying,
“You can’t go in- you have mud all over you”.
Growing up, it was hard not to let the staring and occasional rude comments get to me. In middle school especially, I went through a phase where anytime someone was rude, I was rude right back. When someone stared, I glared. When someone once asked, “What’s wrong with your neck?” I snapped back, “What’s wrong with your face?”. But those reactions never made me feel better, they only left me more upset.
Eventually, I realized that if I can’t change the way I look and I can’t control how others react, then the only thing I can do is choose how I respond and how I allow it to make me feel.
I learned that kindness always works better than anger, because most people who stare or ask questions are simply curious. My type of Nevus might affect only one in half a million people, so of course many have never seen anything like it before. I learned how to answer questions about my skin honestly and confidently, because I can’t hide my Nevus... unless I wore turtlenecks year-round, and I truly hate turtlenecks.
Choosing kindness, both toward others and toward myself, became an important shift in mindset. It helped me feel comfortable in my own skin and allowed me to fully embrace my Nevus.
I am so lucky to have grown up with wonderful parents and an amazing family who always supported me wholeheartedly and encouraged me to never hide a single part of myself. I am grateful for friends who love me not in spite of my Nevus, but because of the person it has helped me become, and for an incredible boyfriend of five years who never hesitates to stand up for me when others do not feel the same way. My parents taught me, “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind,” and it’s something I truly live by. If someone makes a comment that isn’t curious but simply unkind, then they’re not someone I want in my life...and their small-minded opinions won’t carry them very far. The truth is, I receive far more positive comments about my skin than negative ones. Many people even go out of their way to tell me how unique, beautiful, or interesting it is.
I believe that my Nevus has shaped who I am in overwhelmingly positive ways. It has helped me grow into someone who is warm, open-hearted, and accepting, because I know how important it is to make others feel seen and included.
It has strengthened my empathy and compassion, teaching me the power words have and inspiring me to use mine with kindness. It even helped guide my career path, deepening my desire to help others and influencing my decision to become a nurse. It continues to motivate me every day to support, comfort, and advocate for others.
Living with a Nevus has brought challenges, but it has also been one of my greatest gifts. It has defined my life and shaped me into the person I want to be— someone who is confident in her own skin, and someone who is so much more than skin-deep.
Read more stories like Ariella's in our latest issue of The Dotted Line