Facing The Holidays
The holidays arrive wrapped in expectation- lights, traditions, gatherings, and joy. And yet, for many families in our community, this season unfolds a little differently. It brings a mix of anticipation and awareness, tenderness and strength, as each family finds their own way through the days ahead.
Facing the Holidays with Visibility
With their son Levi now a year and a half old, the Vuto family is stepping into a new kind of holiday season. One shaped by movement, curiosity, and an increasing awareness of the world around them.
It’s the first season where he’s aware and mobile enough for us to participate in more public holiday social gatherings.”
What once felt manageable from the safety of familiar spaces now extends into crowded festivals, downtown walks, and gatherings filled with new faces. These moments, often joyful for most families, require a different kind of readiness for the Vutos.
Entering public spaces means preparing not just for logistics, but for people. For glances that linger too long, and for the emotional whiplash that can follow.
“Stares are guaranteed. Sometimes we have only positive, loving interactions. Sometimes we get caught off guard with less informed—not great—comments toward his appearance. The catch is, you never know what you’re going to get.”
That unpredictability is one of the hardest parts. Even with preparation, the impact of an interaction can shift in an instant. A comment that might roll off one day can cut deeply the next, often without warning. It’s the long view that feels heavy-the understanding that this isn’t a phase, and that navigating visibility will be a part of their lives for years to come. And yet, the holidays also bring something grounding and powerful: family.
“When our family is visiting and showering Levi effortlessly with unconditional, pure love, we feel invincible. We feel like we could conquer anything. Life feels like smooth sailing when we’re in the family love bubble.”
In those moments, the noise fades. Surrounded by people who see Levi fully and love him without hesitation, the world feels safer. Love becomes a shield, and the holidays, if only briefly, feel lighter.
Facing the Holidays with Gratitude for the Good Days
For the Gritzuk family, the holidays arrive in the middle of an ongoing fight. Their 9-year-old daughter, Paisley, has been battling complications of Neurocutaneous Melanosis since birth. These past few years have been marked by long hospital stays, constant adjustments, and the emotional work of learning how to manage new medications- all with the goal of keeping Paisley comfortable.
Much of their daily life is shaped by uncertainty: waiting, monitoring, hoping. And yet, woven through the medical realities is a deep commitment to presence. The Gritzuks approach the holidays with intention, focusing not on what illness takes away, but on what still remains.
Their reminder is simple: celebrate the good days.
When illness is part of everyday life, memories become more than traditions- they become anchors.
“The holidays don’t erase the hard days, but they can still hold small moments of light—and sometimes that’s enough to keep going.”
Facing the Holidays with Love and Loss
For some families, the holidays arrive quieter than before.
April is facing the season without her daughter, Allison, whose favorite holiday was Christmas.
“With the holidays here—lights, color, and cheer everywhere—I feel like a foil-wrapped chocolate Santa: shiny on the outside, hollow on the inside.”
There’s a quiet pressure to perform joy during a season that assumes it.
“No one wants to be a Scrooge this time of year, so I smile and play my part, even when it’s hard. We always decorated the tree together, and finding the strength to do that now is tough. I know she understands and won’t rush me. She’ll help me when it’s time, just like she did at Halloween.”
There is no forcing joy here. Only patience, remembrance, and the slow understanding that traditions carry meaning because of the happiness they once held. Decorating the tree, pausing at familiar moments, or choosing when to begin again isn’t about moving on; it’s about honoring the love that made those traditions special in the first place. Even in Allison’s absence, her presence remains woven into each choice, each memory, each pause.
“One moment at a time. Giving myself grace.”
Facing the Holidays as a Community
These stories may look different, but they are deeply connected by love and resilience. However, this season finds you- whether your home is full of decorations or the boxes remain closed, whether you’re celebrating loudly or surviving quietly... please know that you are seen. Our nevus community is wide and tender, and there is room here for every version of this journey. We meet you exactly where you are, this holiday season and always.
As the year comes to a close, we’re holding space for each of you and sending wishes for moments of peace and light- through the holidays and into the new year ahead.
💡 Want to connect with other CMN families, find trusted resources, or support research? Visit Nevus Outreach to learn more, join our community, share your story, or make a gift today.
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